The amount of sadness I have experienced around these losses and certainly others is large. Of course, the loss of my father has been a huge turning point in my life for me. I have joined “the dead parents club” as one of my colleagues put it. It is certainly not a club one seeks membership in, but you inevitably will join at some point. Along his journey, I ended up making a LOT of trips back to CT to be with him and my brother. I fled CT years ago and typically dread going back. The culture is simply not home for me and hasn’t been for quite some time. I don’t have a place there. I don’t fit and don’t have a desire to do so. Vermont is truly my home.
That sense of home has been the foundation of our relationship. As long as we had that strong, grounding place together, we felt we could meet anything no matter how challenging. It was critical to be able to come home after the long weekends in CT with my father. Even before then, that home place with our deep, thick community we have here held us when my wife’s mother suddenly passed away 13 years prior. It has been in these most tragic, sad times that home, both the place and the feeling have mattered most and have been the most present.
When the perfect home came into our search, we didn’t realize that it was going to be Rebecca’s former home she built with her husband, also a Marlboro alumnus. But when we visited the home which we had only saw as a listing online, we immediately knew the story of this home. The love and care that was put into its construction and into the deconstruction of the previous home was instantly palpable. They took elements of the old farm house and integrated them into this new, environmentally more sustainable, home. There was such attention to detail, the color choices, the light switch plates, the gardens which had been planted by the owner before them. The spaces were designed to have groups of people over. There was an instant warmth, and instant welcome. It was already our home. Now that it is our home, I live with this ever present sense of joy in finding this beautiful space to continue co-creating home with my wife and loved ones. I also hold very close the spirits of my father and Rebecca, wishing they could be here to see us. I also know they are most definitely with us.